55/365 Mom2Mom

I recently joined a group at my church called Mom2Mom.  You don't have to attend our church to be apart of this group.  The only requirement is you have to be a mom.  We have moms with newborns and moms who are also grandmothers and every mom in between.  I wanted to join for years but I couldn't because they meet on Wednesday mornings.  I'm so thrilled to be a part of this group.  There are well over 100 moms maybe 200 moms.  You get placed a Care Circle with 10-12 mothers who are in the same stage of parenting.  I'm in a group with elementary age children.  The Care Circle is who you sit with, bond with, lean on, and grow together with.  I love it! My first week was about making your marriage stronger.  This week was a mini hearts at home conference.  I went to three sessions: less stress, coupons, and how to bring more God and Bible lessons into your grade school kid's everyday life.  I'm learning a lot.  I'm growing.  I find many things to incorporate into my family life. If you don't work Wednesday mornings you should consider joining this group.  It truly is a blessing. 

54/365 Time

This is the clock that we work with Gabrielle to teach her how to tell the time.  While working with her tonight, I started thinking about time.  How slow it can move and how fast it can move. I had two MRIs tonight back to back.  It felt like those forty minutes lasted hours.  Reading with my daughter the time flies by.  I always find it strange how fast time moves when you are enjoying what you are doing.  And on the opposite side, how slowly it moves when you are doing something you can't stand (like dishes:)) 

My other thought of time was we never know how much time we have left on earth.  I could die of a heart attack right this second (that would have been creepy if that happened) or I can live for 60 more years.  Today 8 years ago a classmate of mine died in a car crash on his 23rd birthday.  He would have been 31 today.  It's crazy to think that 8 years have passed.  He is not forgotten and will always be in the hearts of his family and friends.  I have lost a lot of class mates at early ages.  Some I was closer to than others but they all died before they were 30 some before they were 18.  It makes me have a different take on life.  I appreciate every second I have.  I am thankful for the time that God has given me.  And I try to live every day as if it were my last. (That's why my laundry is piled up. Who wants to do laundry on their last day?) I just pray that God lets me see Gabrielle grow up.  That's my hope.  I know when I leave this earth I'm going to Heaven to reconnect with all those classmates, family, and loved ones.  Like the Kenny Chesney song, "Everybody wants to go to Heaven, no one wants to go right now":) So go out there and enjoy the time you have!

52/365 prayer list

I often tell people I will pray for you.  Then I find when it is time to pray I can't remember everyone.  I usually include in my prayers, "God please help my friends and family with whatever they need help with." I know it's pretty generic.  So I started using an app on my phone.  I have written everyone on there and what I am praying for them.  I see someone on facebook ask for prayers.  I put it on my list.  If I talk to someone and they are struggling with something I put it on my list.  It helps when it comes time to do my daily prayers.  I also pray for anyone I'm struggling with...whether it is a misunderstanding or we just don't like each other.  I pray for my foes.  I pray for my family, friends, small group, church, pastor, the list goes on and on.  My foes are the hardest.  I don't want to pray for them at times.  Some times I just pray that God bless them.  Or I pray that I can see the situation from their side and they can see my side of the situation.  I pray daily for any ill thoughts I've had about them.  I pray that I do better with showing them God's love.  Matthew 5:44 "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you."  I find the prayer list works wonderful.  The picture of the day is a blank pray list.  I hope this blog encourages you to keep your own prayer list and to pray for your enemies.

49/365 Being yourself

Today was wacky hair day at gabrielle's school.  I made a mo-hawk of her hair using little rubber bands.  I wish I would have thought to take a picture at the start of the day when it was perfect and easier to see.  At any rate, I love that first graders (for the most part) are still confident with themselves.  They don't change for people.  They are happy in their own skin.  At 6 gabrielle loves just being herself.  I pray at 16 she still does.  As a female those teenage years can be rough trying to fit it and at the same time trying to figure out who you are.  My job as her mom to help build up her confidence.  I tell her all the time how smart, beautiful, caring, funny, kind, and amazing she is. Everyday she does something that makes me proud and amazes me.  Her middle name means confidence.  That is the reason I agreed to that name.  Because I want her to have all the confidence that I lack.  One of these days I'm going to learn it's okay to be myself.  I'm going to learn it doesn't matter what others think or say.  All that matters is that I'm doing right by God, Mike, and gabrielle.  I am still working on letting go of what others think.  Maybe that will be my accomplishment in my 30s. 

47/365 forgiveness

Forgiveness is a hard one.  I have always struggled forgiving people.  I mean completely forgiving them and not holding a grudge.  It's hard.  Yet Jesus died for us to be forgiven.  So why can't I do it? Because I'm human.  There are a few people in my life that I need to forgive and let go.  As my pastor once told me, "Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to have them over for Sunday brunch.  It means you let go."  I struggle with forgiving people who have never apologized for their actions.  My pastor said don't wait for the apology, it will never come.  This week I'm reaching out to all but one and letting them know that I forgive them. and I'm sorry for any wrong doing I did.  I forgive the other too but I'm can't speak to that person.  That person is the one I pray for daily but I can't pick up the phone and tell them that I forgive them and that I don't hold a grudge.  There is a quote that I love.  "One minute you let someone stay in your head is one minute too long."  " When you hate, the only person who suffers is you.  Because those you hate probably don't know and those who do, don't care." Medgar Evers  So if you are out there reading this, I don't hate you.  I forgive you for everything.  I'm moving on with not hating you and holding no grudges. 

(PS The picture is a cross Gabrielle made in preschool.)

46/365 4 years ago:my engagement story

I love my engagement story but you have to hear the background first.  I was in a bitter single mom mode when I reconnected with Mike on myspace.  (Remember this was 2006, before myspace was uncool and creepy.) I had a client tell me that one of her biggest regrets was never dating after her divorce.  She completely dedicated herself to her children and she never thought about dating.  Now that her children where grown and she was elderly, she wished she had someone to spend time with daily.  She told me to go out there and date.  I didn't want to, but I did.  I tried some singles groups at church.  I just wasn't ready.  I had been through a lot with several of my exes and I just didn't want to date.  I was playing on myspace looking up friends from college and came across Mike.  We met at an ISU tailgating event.  We would run into each other on campus but it was just never the right time for anything to happen.  Well I sent him a message on myspace figuring he wouldn't remember me.  He did.  We talked on myspace and AIM for a couple of weeks and sent flirty e-mails.  But then he asked me on a date.  I said yes, but I was scared.  I told him I had never dated while being a mom.  He said he never dated a mom before.   We agreed to take things slow and he wasn't allowed to meet Gabrielle until we were serious if we got to that point.  Our first date was September 20th.  I fell hard and fast.  But I told him a million times I was never going to get married.  I had been proposed to 3 times and hinted at getting asked 2 more times.  I was still bitter and didn't believe marriage works. I knew no happy couples.  (A co-worker pointed out that people tend to only gossip about the bad times not the good times in marriages.) I knew Mike was the one I wanted to spend my life with early on.  He was different from any guy I ever dated.  I could just be myself and he accepted me as me. 

Fast forward a little bit, I told him that I didn't want him to try and be Gabrielle's dad.  That she had a father.  All I wanted him to be was a positive male role model in his life.  At first he was okay with that.  He understood where I was coming from.  We discussed it again.  He explained he never wants to replace her dad.  Her dad is her dad.  He never wants to come in between that bond or replace him.  He would just like to be the everyday step-dad she deserves to have in her life.  I knew that minute I was going to marry him.  He broke down all my walls over those months and I knew this was the one.  I knew that I never really knew love like this before.  Now WBNQ 101.5 was having a contest to win an engagement ring and an on air proposal.  Mike kept joking that he entered.  Well I entered.  I never thought I would win, but I also thought that he would never ask because I had said several times that I never wanted to marry.  I wasn't chosen.  A guy was chosen and he backed out.  He didn't like the 1/2 carrot hearts on fire diamond worth $2500.  So they announced on Valentine's Day that there was no proposal because he backed out.  Then I get a call from Fasiq and Susan from WBNQ morning show asking if I was still interested I said YES. And then we put the plan in motion.  I was scared out of my mind.  I called my mom that night and she said $2500 ring. Take it!

So on February 15, Mike left for work.  I texted my friends to listen to the radio.  Mason (from WBNQ now on the Bull in St Louis) came and set up the equipment in my living room.  I called Mike and said I was ill. I asked him to come home and take Gabrielle to the sitter.  He was listen to WBNQ and Mason saying he was hiding because he didn't want to get punched but he couldn't explain why. (Being a man in the apartment with another man's girlfriend.) Mike walked in I was holding the microphone.  (Mike thought I was doing karaoke:)) Gabrielle handed him the ring and I gave my speech.  I don't remember all of it because I was so nervous but I have it on cd.  I basically told him when he said he didn't want to replace her dad but be the everyday step-father she deserves I knew I wanted to marry him.  I said I thought our family was complete but you came in and turned everything upside down.  I love you so much.  You complete our family.  Will you marry me? He said yes.

So this is my engagement story.  I have been blessed to have been with Mike for 4 1/2 years and married 3 1/2.  Not every day is a rose garden but no marriage is.  I am blessed to have a husband who loves me and takes great care of me.  He stands by me through thick and thin.  He loves my daughter as if she were his own.  He is an amazing step-dad to her.  I love him, care for him, treat him with respect, and compassion.  I hope I make him as happy as me makes me.  They say when you find the right one you know.  I knew.  I knew it wasn't the first honeymoon feelings you get in a relationship.  I knew this was the man for me.  I am so blessed.  Thank you Mike for saying yes.  Thank you Susan, Fasiq, Mason, and WBNQ for the ring.

PS the engagement ring is the middle ring.  Mike bought me two wedding rings since he didn't buy me an engagement ring.  I swear he is the best.

45/365 my one true love

I know a lot of people hate Valentine's Day.  Some are single and hate being even more aware they are single.  Others believe it is a hallmark holiday and you shouldn't need a holiday to say I love you.  I agree you should show your love to your spouse/significant other every day.  I know with work and with a child, it gets hard.  But it makes our marriage stronger.  We tell each other everyday how much we love each other. I'm blessed to have a very romantic, loving husband.  And I love Valentine's Day because it is an excuse to tell my hubby and daughter how much I love them above and beyond my everyday I love yous.  Here are my wonderful flowers that my husband surprised me with. Daises are my favorite!

day 44 helping out

Today as a family we donated our time at church to clean toys for the nursery and baby Kidsview.  I was so proud of gabrielle.  She was so helpful.  She always is.  She always wants to help people.  She loves helping with food drives at church.  She always wants to donate her too small clothes and old toys.  The church had too many containers so they let us have some.  This is her cleaning her cleaning them.

day 42 for dog owners or those wanting to get a dog

10 Canine Commandments 


1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years.  Any separation from you from you will be painful.  Remember that before you buy/adopt me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.  


3. Place your trust in me.  It's crucial to my well-being.


4. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment.  You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I only have you.


5.Talk to me sometimes.  Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me. 


6. Be aware of how you treat me, I'll never forget it.  


7. Remember before you hit me: I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.  


8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something may be bothering me.  Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.


9. Take care of me when I get old.  You will get old too. 


10.  Go with me on difficult journey.  Never say, "I can't bear to watch it," or "Do it in my absence."  Everything is easier for me if you are there.  


REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU.
 (I got this from a friend on twitter.  I thought it was worth sharing.)

day 40 my wonderful church

I'm going to use this day as a time to brag on my church.  I love my church.  I remember growing up going to a church with the membership just over 150.  So the first time I came to this church I was so overwhelmed.  I thought I made a big mistake.  How could a place this big make me closer to God?  Then I joined a single mom's small group. Then I met with Mike Baker about officiating my wedding.   I went marriage counseling.  I got married there.  I baptized my husband.  I joined a small group. I taught kidsview.  I volunteer in the food pantry.  I became connected to the church and the other members.  I reconnected with God.  And I'm raising my daughter to know God at this church.  This church is a community, an amazing, giving community. I love every bit of it.  This is one of the signs in the kids' area. 

marriage

I love anything that can strengthen our marriage.  We are still working on the Love Dare.  It should be finished in a few weeks.  (See my earlier post)  My husband found the following 5 day strengthen your marriage through the Bible series on his phone.  Just in time for Valentine's Day.  I believe that marriage is hard and requires A LOT of work.  That is why many fail.  They expect it to be a fairy tale or movie style love.  You have your fairy tale days but you also have the bad days/rough spots in life.  You deal with loss of jobs, family issues, money issues, death, and so much more.  You work at making your marriage strong enough to handle those times.  You find creative ways to do so.  There are books, blogs, or even counseling.  We will do whatever it takes.  When we married we said 'til death do us apart, and we mean it.  We are blessed to be in a great place in our lives and marriage, but you never know what life will through at you next.