46/365 4 years ago:my engagement story

I love my engagement story but you have to hear the background first.  I was in a bitter single mom mode when I reconnected with Mike on myspace.  (Remember this was 2006, before myspace was uncool and creepy.) I had a client tell me that one of her biggest regrets was never dating after her divorce.  She completely dedicated herself to her children and she never thought about dating.  Now that her children where grown and she was elderly, she wished she had someone to spend time with daily.  She told me to go out there and date.  I didn't want to, but I did.  I tried some singles groups at church.  I just wasn't ready.  I had been through a lot with several of my exes and I just didn't want to date.  I was playing on myspace looking up friends from college and came across Mike.  We met at an ISU tailgating event.  We would run into each other on campus but it was just never the right time for anything to happen.  Well I sent him a message on myspace figuring he wouldn't remember me.  He did.  We talked on myspace and AIM for a couple of weeks and sent flirty e-mails.  But then he asked me on a date.  I said yes, but I was scared.  I told him I had never dated while being a mom.  He said he never dated a mom before.   We agreed to take things slow and he wasn't allowed to meet Gabrielle until we were serious if we got to that point.  Our first date was September 20th.  I fell hard and fast.  But I told him a million times I was never going to get married.  I had been proposed to 3 times and hinted at getting asked 2 more times.  I was still bitter and didn't believe marriage works. I knew no happy couples.  (A co-worker pointed out that people tend to only gossip about the bad times not the good times in marriages.) I knew Mike was the one I wanted to spend my life with early on.  He was different from any guy I ever dated.  I could just be myself and he accepted me as me. 

Fast forward a little bit, I told him that I didn't want him to try and be Gabrielle's dad.  That she had a father.  All I wanted him to be was a positive male role model in his life.  At first he was okay with that.  He understood where I was coming from.  We discussed it again.  He explained he never wants to replace her dad.  Her dad is her dad.  He never wants to come in between that bond or replace him.  He would just like to be the everyday step-dad she deserves to have in her life.  I knew that minute I was going to marry him.  He broke down all my walls over those months and I knew this was the one.  I knew that I never really knew love like this before.  Now WBNQ 101.5 was having a contest to win an engagement ring and an on air proposal.  Mike kept joking that he entered.  Well I entered.  I never thought I would win, but I also thought that he would never ask because I had said several times that I never wanted to marry.  I wasn't chosen.  A guy was chosen and he backed out.  He didn't like the 1/2 carrot hearts on fire diamond worth $2500.  So they announced on Valentine's Day that there was no proposal because he backed out.  Then I get a call from Fasiq and Susan from WBNQ morning show asking if I was still interested I said YES. And then we put the plan in motion.  I was scared out of my mind.  I called my mom that night and she said $2500 ring. Take it!

So on February 15, Mike left for work.  I texted my friends to listen to the radio.  Mason (from WBNQ now on the Bull in St Louis) came and set up the equipment in my living room.  I called Mike and said I was ill. I asked him to come home and take Gabrielle to the sitter.  He was listen to WBNQ and Mason saying he was hiding because he didn't want to get punched but he couldn't explain why. (Being a man in the apartment with another man's girlfriend.) Mike walked in I was holding the microphone.  (Mike thought I was doing karaoke:)) Gabrielle handed him the ring and I gave my speech.  I don't remember all of it because I was so nervous but I have it on cd.  I basically told him when he said he didn't want to replace her dad but be the everyday step-father she deserves I knew I wanted to marry him.  I said I thought our family was complete but you came in and turned everything upside down.  I love you so much.  You complete our family.  Will you marry me? He said yes.

So this is my engagement story.  I have been blessed to have been with Mike for 4 1/2 years and married 3 1/2.  Not every day is a rose garden but no marriage is.  I am blessed to have a husband who loves me and takes great care of me.  He stands by me through thick and thin.  He loves my daughter as if she were his own.  He is an amazing step-dad to her.  I love him, care for him, treat him with respect, and compassion.  I hope I make him as happy as me makes me.  They say when you find the right one you know.  I knew.  I knew it wasn't the first honeymoon feelings you get in a relationship.  I knew this was the man for me.  I am so blessed.  Thank you Mike for saying yes.  Thank you Susan, Fasiq, Mason, and WBNQ for the ring.

PS the engagement ring is the middle ring.  Mike bought me two wedding rings since he didn't buy me an engagement ring.  I swear he is the best.