90/365 Radical Forgiveness

I borrowed a CD from the lending library at Mom2Mom.  It's from Hearts at Home workshop from 2005.  The speaker was Julie Barnhill and her topic was Radical Forgiveness.  My blog will be about this today because it touched me so deeply. 

She spoke of forgiving ourselves.  Isn't that the hardest? The Bible says that Jesus removed our sins as far as the East is from the West.  But it's hard to forgive yourself.  You remember those sins.  The devil uses it for spiritual warfare.  You begin to think that you aren't good enough for God.  None of us are, but He gave up His own son to save us.  That's His Grace. That just blows my mind.  We talked about it in small group.  I could never do what Abraham was willing to do.  I would never give up my daughter even if God physically showed up and told me to.  Man, Abraham had incredible faith but that is for another blog.  It's so hard for us to remember we can't earn our salvation.  We can't do enough good to out weigh the bad we have done.  God simply forgives us which is amazing.  We need to forgive ourselves.  Julie talked about how when we don't forgive ourselves it is more baggage that we carry.  It then effects areas of our life.  That hit home.  I can't seem to forgive myself for my college years. I made so many mistakes.  I can't seem to get past it.  I fall in that area of trying to do enough good to make up for those years (17-23) of my life.  It doesn't work that way.  I have to keep reminding myself that those sins gave me Gabrielle.  And Gabrielle lead me back to God.  And God has forgaven me of ALL those sins and in His eyes I am washed clean in His blood. 

Julie also talked about forgiving others and how freeing it is to yourself.  The other person isn't effected by whether you forgive them or not.  You are.  You can unload a huge burden and lay down that bundle you have been carrying all by forgiving.  Julie closed with two prayers that I am copying word for word.  They apply to my life.  I hope they help you. You fill in the prayer with the name of the person you need to. 

Lord God I cannot imagine forgiving (fill in the blank with that name) who has hurt me so badly.  You know I  can list their offensives right now if I'd like how well I know them.  I have tried truly to forgive them for a long time.  But now I'm simply asking you to help me.  Help me forgive them and let go of everything that is attached.  Help me find radically rescue in this area of my life.

Lord God (name of person who hasn't forgiven you) has not been able to forgive me.  I know what I have done to hurt them. I'm truly sorry for that.  (Or I don't know what I did to offend them so badly.)  I'm simply asking you to help them to forgive me even if I don't deserve it.  Show them the truth of redemption and a life that is free of all sins, grudges, and regrets.  And help me to build a bridge of restoration in that relationship if it is healthy to do so and if it's what you desire.