69/365 missing him like crazy

A wise friend told me to get out of the house yesterday.  So we all spent the day out, eating out, window shopping, just not at home.  Well today life is back to normal or it is suppose to be.  Gabrielle is at school.  Mike is at work.  I'm home alone with my sadness.  The dog is no comfort.  I'm mad at him and I don't know why.  Mike says it's because he is alive and Pumpkin isn't.  (Not that I want something to happen to Dallas either.) I'm just mad and don't know who to be mad at so I'm mad at Dallas.  Plus Dallas is driving me crazy.  He keeps sniffing everything in search of the cat.  When he finds a spot that smells like Pumpkin he sniffs that spot to death, then licks it to death, then rolls on it like crazy.  In search of him, Dallas keeps going to all of Pumpkin's favorite hiding spots: the bath tub, bathroom counter, the beds, behind the couch, even under the beds.  Dallas is afraid of under the beds but today he is actually going under there trying to find his friend.  It's so sad.  I thought dogs were suppose to hate cats.  I always said they were my sons, because I'm not having any more kids.  And Gabrielle called them her brothers.  They liked to fight and wrestle like brothers, but today I'm realizing they loved each other too.  It's just so painful.  I didn't expect it to be so painful.  I've heard pet owners say it is like losing a family member.  I never believed that before yesterday.  I've lost pets it would hurt for a day or two but I moved on.  My family dog that had to be put asleep when I was 16 was the hardest, but it was more my mom's dog than mine.  She took it like I am taking this.  Losing this cat feels like losing a family member.  We got him December 30, 2007.  We went to the Humane Society as a reward to gabrielle finally being potty trained she got him.  They picked each other.  He was the only kitten that would let this rough 3 year old pick him up.  It was love at first sight.  He quickly took a preference to me.  He would cuddle mostly with me.  I was the only one he would let pick him up.  This past year has been a rough year all around.  He was my constant companion when Mike/gabrielle wasn't home.  He really became a BFF.  Now our house feels empty.  Gabrielle keeps going to the back door looking at his grave and praying to God.  She is so sad.  I hate seeing her sad.  She told me if we ever get another cat he can't be orange because we can't ever replace Pumpkin.  I have never seen her cry so much.  I wish I could stop crying and offer some wisdom.  I just keep telling her it will get easier with time.  It's just sad around here without him.  My friends and family have been so supportive.  Thank you.