239 Happy Birthday Gabrielle Torrance

God blessed me with the best happy, surprise in the world on this date.  (She was never an accident.  Accident means mistakes.  She is no mistake.  God makes no mistakes.)  I was scared when I found out I was pregnant.  Her father and I had broken up.  I had just moved out and discovered I was pregnant.  It was a super scary time.  I knew the minute I found out I was pregnant that I loved her.  I knew she was a girl because I thought I always wanted boys.  I have 5 brothers and tons of guy friends.  I thought I would be better at raising a boy.  I am so glad God has a sense of humor and gave me a daughter.  I can't imagine having a boy.  She is my girlie-girl.  The pregnancy was rough.  I was sick thorough out the pregnancy.  I had dizzy spells and nausea at all times.  I spent a lot of timing laying down.  I remember people feeling sorry for me because I was pregnant over the summer.  Well that summer was unseasonably cool.  Mother Nature was nice to me  Her due date was the day after my little brother's birthday.  She should have been born on the 21st.  She waited.  I remember bribing her to come out.  Finally at 4am on the 26th, I went into labor.  I went to the hospital at 7am because my contractions were 5 minutes apart.  They sent me home because I was not far enough along in labor.  I laid around all day in pain.  I couldn't really eat or sleep.  I was so excited and in pain.  I went back to the hospital at 7pm.  They admitted me but said it would be morning before she would get here.  I thought this labor would never end.  The next morning there was a comical moment when my water broke.  I was on the epidural.  I didn't feel it.  Her dad was standing next to the bed.  His pants got wet and the floor.  I was convinced he peed his pants.  The nurse informed me otherwise.  I began pushing around 10 am.  I pushed for 6 hours.  I was so exhausted that I would fall asleep in between pushes.  Finally my doctor said this was enough.  He order an emergency c-section.  Gabrielle was born at 4:54 pm on August 27, 2004.  She weighed 8lbs 13oz and 21 inches.  I choose Gabrielle.  We wanted a name that was not super common but not far out there.  Gabrielle means strong by faith in God.  Her dad choose Torrance because it was close to his name.  I liked it because it meant confident.  I wanted her to have the confidence I lacked.  She saved my life.  She tore my uterus during pushing.  If she came out during pushing, I would have kept on bleeding and the doctors  might not have figured out why.  Well the c-section showed the doctors the tear and they fixed me up.  She also saved my life by giving me purpose and direction.  I am so proud of the little girl she has grown into.  She is simply amazing.  God blessed me with a wonderful, funny, smart, caring, healthy, beautiful daughter.  Happy Birthday Gabrielle!  Here's my favorite picture of the first few hours of her life.