Sunday, May 8, 2011

128/365 Mother's Day

I am blessed to be a mother.  I love every second of it even those trying moments.  I was scared when I found out I was having a baby.  I had graduated college 4 months before.  I hadn't been able to find a real job.  I took job in a call center.  My relationship was ending with her father whom I had been with for over 2 years.  My grandfather was dying.  (My grandfather stepped up as a father many times in my life.)  I was battling so much depression from all of those events.  Then I found out I was pregnant on December 30, 2003. (December 30th is Mike's birthday.  God works in mysterious ways.)  My grandpa died on January 4, 2004.  I lost my job because I took the time off for the funeral and to be with my family.  The company had a no fault so many days missed and you are let go.  So I was jobless, lost my grandpa, and my relationship was in ruins with the father of my unborn baby.  My mom said it would be okay; and that I could move in with her and she would help me out.  She and I have not always seen eye to eye, but when I need her the most she is always there.  I was scared to death but there was no option but to have Gabrielle.  I don't believe in abortion.  And I could never do adoption. I knew that this was part of God's plan for me even if I didn't know how it would all work out.  Plus from the moment I knew I was pregnant I loved her.  I knew she was a girl because I always thought I wanted a boy.  So I knew God would be funny and give me a girl.  I am so glad He did.

Gabrielle had been the best blessing God has given to me.  Because of Gabrielle I renewed my walk with God.  Because of Gabrielle I become a healthier person, a better person.  I have more patience, more compassionate, more wisdom.  Everyday I thank God for the blessing of my daughter.  I hear too often, "I can't wait until my kids are out of the house."  I think those people have issues.  This time goes by so fast.  I swear it was just yesterday that I found out I was having her.  I treasure the precious time I have with her as a child because before I know it she will be grown with a daughter of her own.  So I will spend these years teaching her life's important lessons. 

I also have to say that I am beyond blessed that God knew the master plan.  He knew that I would find a meaningful job helping others.  That I would find a church family.  That I would reconnect with a college friend who turned out to be my soul mate.  He also redefined all thoughts I had on step-parents.  Gabrielle and I are truly blessed to have Mike. 

Today after church and my daughter's baptism, we went down to Sugar Creek Reserve. We hiked, climbed trees, and enjoyed this beautiful day.  I am so blessed.  My life isn't perfect. I struggle with pain daily. I have issues that need to be worked out with people.  I have my problems, but I have more blessings than troubles.  What more could you ask for?

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