Malachi 3:3

I couldn't sleep. For some odd reason I started reading through old e-mails. I came across this one. I feel it is so moving. I am sharing it hoping it can helps others.

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what
this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the
women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back
to the group at their next Bible Study. That week the woman called a
silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't
mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity
about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire
and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to
hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest
as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding
us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that
says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in
front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man
answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but
he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the
fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be
destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she
asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my
image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has
his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in
you. Pass this on right now. This very moment,
someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever
they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.
"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only
spend it once."

God owes us nothing but gives us everything.....
>>>

I will praise you through this storm

I am going through a heck of a storm right now. And I need to remember to still praise God. There is a reason for everything. So here is a list of things I am thanking God for. This is in no order. And this is not everything I am thankful for just a few things I can think of right now.
I am thankful for....
-His forgiveness/my salvation
-my daughter/her health and safety and happiness
-my hubby/his health/love and support
-my family and inlaws, their health/support/love
-my church
-my job and mike's job-with so many losing jobs, we are so lucky to have ours
-my sanity, even though I felt like I was losing it today:)
-Dallas and pumpkin (I know they are just animals but they are my family)
-my friends, I have the best and most supportive friends ever
-Even though I thought I never wanted kids, God gave me gabrielle. I can't imagine my life without her.
-Terrence, despite everything, there would be no gabrielle without him.
-My self control to have not made the situation any worse than I did.
-My mom's honesty, I have and I am hoping gabrielle has it too
-Mike loves gabrielle as if he made her with me
-Mike supports me even when I mess up
-we are back to do okay money wise
-God never gives up on me
-chocolate and pepsi....I would be lost without them
-internet, can't imagine life without it
-my home, so many are homeless, and even though I don't have a mansion, I am not on the streets
-unanswered prayers
-God knows the answers
-I will get through this storm with His help
-food-I help with the food pantry and I know how lucky I am

I could go on and on but these are just some that come to my mind at 10:40 at night.

look back on the kindergarten experience

I can't believe today is gabrielle's last full day of kindergarten. Looking back the year flew by so fast. That first day was so hard on me. I cried until I gave myself a migraine. I begged Mike to let me home school. It is not often that Mike tells me no, but he did and I am glad that he did.

I remember being disappointed because gabrielle didn't get into the private school I wanted her to. But God always does have a plan. Colene Hoose is amazing. I was completely wrong about public school, or at least this public school. The staff is so caring. The principal knows each student's name. The office secretaries are friendly and informative. Even though there were 750 students in her school, you still got that small town feeling there. I think it helped that I was there every week helping out. I joined the PTO and became a fixture in the school. And next year I taking on more jobs/responsibilities in the school through PTO. I will be in charge of the Toys for Tots program, help in the library, and hopefully gabrielle's class next year.

As for her teacher, we LOVE her. Mrs. Yokley has been an amazing, caring, inspirational teacher. She has taught gabrielle so much this year. There use to be a poster that said Everything I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten. Then it listed everything that you learn in kindergarten. You learn everything from being more independent, to sharing, to resolving conflict, to reading, writing, math. It blows my mind how much she has learned this year.

I am beyond happy that she didn't get in that private school. I am happy to be a Hoose Hawk family. And I am glad that Mike said no to home schooling.

true love

I had a high school teacher who informed me that I was in love with being in love. She was convinced that I would be married and divorced over and over, because I loved falling in love. I always thought she was right. I mean I had a ridiculous amount of marriage proposals. I fell in love over and over. I was in love with the ideal of true love.

This last week taught me that I was wrong. I am not in love with being in love. And I am not in love with the ideal of true love. I have true love. True love isn't about fairy tales or long walks on the beach or roses everyday. True love isn't what you see in the movies.

True love is sitting by your love's hospital bed. True love is showering your spouse after surgery, changing their bandages, and helping them get dressed. True love is about the ups and downs. Holding hands and hearts through it all.

I am so glad that teacher was wrong. I am not in love with being in love. I am in love with being married to my soulmate.

my job

I am taking a break at my job to write about my job. Kind of funny? There is this new awesome federal program called Money Follows the Person or MFP for short. It is new to McLean County. And myself and a co-worker are in charge of the program for McLean County. MFP is a program to get nursing home residents back into the community who have been in the nursing home for at least 6 months and are on Medicaid (public aid). You see once you go to a Nursing Home longer that a short stay if you are Medicaid all your income minus $30 goes to the nursing home. So you eventually lose your apartment because you have no income to pay your rent. Then you have no way of saving up for rent/deposit. That is where this program steps in. It is great and a bit overwhelming. I have my first MFP client. She has been in the nursing home for 6 months. I have an apartment for her. Now I have to get all the stuff for her apartment. I thought that would be fun. Then my co-worker helped me realize how much stuff we have to get.

Look around your home. Think of the essentials. She has none of that, no furniture, no soap, no toilet paper, no food, NOTHING. I have to get that all for her. So it is a little overwhelming. Then I thought about it some more. How awesome is it that I get to do this? I get to take a person who was in a nursing home for 4 years that never thought she would get to go home. And I get to get her into the community. She is so thrilled and excited. She gets her cat back, that her vet has been watching for her. Her cat is like a kid to her. She is happy to get privacy and her own place.

People ask me why I am a social worker. This is why. To see the difference I am making in her life is worth it.

I believe in prayers

I truly believe in prayers. The power of prayer is amazing and beautiful. Many times in life there is nothing you can do but pray.

My 14 year-old nephew was in a car accident on the 26th. His grandpa hit black ice and lost control of this car. Another car T bone my nephew's side of the car. It didn't look good. He had to be air lifted to a better equipped hospital. He was in ICU for several days. He wasn't even able to breath on his own. I couldn't do anything but pray. So that's what I did. I prayed for him. So many people prayed for him. Now he is out of ICU healing really well. And also God answered a long time prayer for me. He is my sister's boy but is raised by his father. Due to all kinds of issues, I had not seen him in years. I didn't even have a contact number for him. I always prayed for him. I prayed that one day we would reconnect. Now we have. I am sorry that it took a car accident to do so.

I pray for people constantly. A lot of the time, I don't get to know if the prayers have been answered. I just keep praying. Sometimes it is great to look back and see the prayers that were answered. Maybe I should keep a prayer journal. I sometimes lack the courage to point blank ask a person if the prayer was answered. In those cases, I just keep praying for that person. Then God shows me how it was answered.

My big prayers for 2010 is health for my friends and family, deeper relationships with God for me and my loved ones, and strength for my loved ones still suffering through the losses of 2009.

Imagine

I am blessed to be a part of an amazing church. I love my church. A few years back we started Imagine. As church members we donate new coats, new toys, and food for those in need. "Imagine everyone has a coat, toy, food, and Jesus for Christmas." I have always donated, but this year I stepped up and helped with the distribution. I decided to be a host. The job as host was to get to know the families and take them through to get the items and pray with them.

As a social worker I come into contact with those in needs everyday. But this was different. I got to not only meet their worldly needs, but their spiritually needs. I prayed with them. I heard the most heart breaking stories. I got to offer them the hope of Jesus. It was beyond rewarding. I helped 8 families. And I got to know prayer requests for each family. I will keep them in my prayers.

This holiday season try not to get wrapped up in Santa, trees, gift wrapping, baking, etc. Remember Jesus is the Reason for the Season. Remember the birth of our Savior.